Fathers & Daughters
by Bigi
Summary: Her aunt was the one who told her about her father's death... (contains spoilers for episode 3x18)


Authors Note: None of the characters belong to me. 

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Her aunt was the one who told her about her father's death. She was saddened, but not surprised, to learn he had been killed in the line of duty. There was a bitter irony in the fact that the one thing he devoted his life to, killed him in the end.

He had never been an easy person to know. It was downright impossible at times. He tended to retreat into himself and keep those he loved at arms length. He could be cold at times. Egotistical. Controlling. Her mother once remarked that he was, "particularly adept at pissing people off."

Mom.

She had been his complete opposite. Trusting and open. Where he could push people away, she could draw them near and bring them out of their shells. She brought a light into his life that gave a warmth to his reserved demeanor.

And when she died, that light went out.

It was ten years ago but she still remembered everything about her mother's death and all that followed. She remembered seeing her father, who was always such a proud man, left broken and sobbing like a little boy. It was hard seeing him like that. It was hard being a teenage girl and needing him to be strong for her when he couldn't even do that for himself. Harder still to deal with the anger she felt towards him for always choosing work over her. Over her mom.

She had needed so much from him that he was unable to give.

The last time she saw her father was a few weeks later. She was living with her aunt and uncle then and he came by one afternoon to tell her that he was leaving. He had been offered a job in Los Angeles with CTU and he wanted her to come live with him out there.

She couldn't go with him. She wouldn't. She didn't want to leave her friends and her life behind. She didn't want to live with him.

He was abandoning her again but she couldn't be angry. She just felt numb. Her uncle, however, was angry. He screamed at him for being such a "coward" and running away. She couldn't forget the look in her father's eyes at that moment. It was like he was dying inside.

The last words he said to her were "I'm so sorry, sweetie."

And then he was gone.

He tried to call her a few times but she never took any of his calls. She knew from her sister that he had tried to call her as well. But her sister took a job with the foreign service and only stayed in touch with her and their aunt and uncle. Her brother had made a career of the military and took as many assignments abroad as he could.

Her father sent them card and gifts, or tried to. Her brother was hard to reach, if not to find. Her sister made a point of returning whatever letters or packages he sent.

Eventually, he stopped trying to contact them.

She had wished she could do that, she wished she could make him feel the pain of being abandoned but she couldn't. She couldn't bring herself to reach out to her father but she couldn't close off their only ties. She accepted the letters and they sat now in a closet - unopened and untouched.

Last Christmas, after the birth of her daughter, she had decided she would send her father a card. She wasn't ready to bare her soul in a letter or for the directness of a call but a card she thought she could do. She never sent it. She wasn't ready.

She told her self that she would have father's day or his birthday or even next Christmas. They still had time...

"Excuse me, Caitlin Chappelle?"

She looked up from the grave to see a man, not much younger than her father and with a familiar haunted look in his eyes.

"Yes, It's Duncan now. But that's me," her voice shaking a bit with the last few words.

"I'm Jack Bauer, I worked with your father."

His eyes looked past hers as he continued, "I am so sorry for your loss. Your father was good man."

"Thank you," she whispered.

He looked away but didn't leave.

"Is there something else, Agent Bauer?"

He looked up at her and only briefly let his eyes meet hers before quickly shaking his head.

"No."

He moved back and in a strained voice repeated, "I'm very sorry for your loss," before walking away.

It was strange the ripples one life could send out. After her mother's death, their family had fallen apart. She still kept in touch with her uncle and aunt but her siblings were difficult. Before her father died, she hadn't spoken to her sister in four months and her brother in nearly a year. She knew neither of them made an effort to keep in touch with each other. They both had their jobs and the lives that came with those jobs.

She had been furious when neither one of them would come to the funeral. Both claimed work as their excuse. Her brother had been cold and almost non-responsive. Her sister was just bitter and the phone call ended in an argument.

Caitlin knelt down near the grave.

"I'm so sorry. I spent so long being too angry and too sad and too wrapped up in myself to try..."

She placed a hand on her head and tried to collect herself, "I love you and I'm sorry I didn't say that sooner. I'm sorry I waited so long and I don't know how to make up for that."

She was crying now and let herself before trying to continue.

"I wish hadn't spent so much time being angry. If I could take it back... I promise I won't make that mistake again. I'll keep trying with Chrissy and Ryan. I promise."

She set her flowers down and placed a kiss on the headstone. She stayed there for a while, unsure of whether her legs could support her enough to stand.

Finally, she did.

"I forgave you a long time ago. I never told you but I did. And I hope you can forgive me."

She looked at his grave one more time before turning to leave.

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Explaination: Chappelle wears a wedding ring and always has. The book -House Findings at CTU by Marc Cerasini - mentions a wife (Victoria) and three children (Ryan, Christine and Caitlin). Now, I know the book is iffy, it didn't mention Saunders but he still had the ring on I decided to go with it.


End file.
